Cheap motels and dirty ladies of the night

Drew and I went shopping for our crib a couple weeks ago and we found the most unusual baby item. While perusing the mattress section we discovered a strange new addition to all things baby, the vibrating crib mattress. What that heck is that? What baby needs a vibrating mattress? The labels says it's soothing, but frankly it's a bit off-putting. It reminds me of nasty motels and ladies that you can rent by the hour. All this product needs is a slot for quarters and it would fit right in. Who buys these things? Why? What's wrong with you? Are you trying to push sick sexual proclivities on your newborn? Ughhhhhh, I cringe at the thought.